memorial day pt. I

summer has just begun and i already have way too much on my plate--too, too many summer projects. i'm not that ambitious. i don't know what i was thinking.

i might just make a list of all my summer projects. and not actually accomplish any of them.

if i at least had a list, something i could go to periodically and run my eyes over, i think, then, i'd feel the same as if i'd actually done the things i set out to do in the first place.

i mean, it's kind of the same thing.

it's like lying. i guess. you could tell yourself, tell others, that you can read minds, that your brother died when you were in kindergarten, your mother kept him sick and, as long as the idea is out there, it doesn't really matter if it's true or not. what's important is that it's out there. execution is shit. good ideas should remain theoretical. always. dreams realized are rarely satisfying.

or maybe i'm just lazy.

summer project #271: make a list of all my summer projects and don't actually follow through on a single one.

summer project #272: relax. you've earned it.

i talked to amy last night. we went on one of our epic walks. it was really sort of gratifying, masturbatory in nature--a perfectly acceptable waste of time.

we came to the conclusion that most of the things we, and other people, enjoy are masturbatory in nature--that is, most of the things we do on a day-to-day basis are generally unconstructive, soul-sucking and perfectly acceptable ways to waste one's time.

like t.v. on dvd.

who stops after just one episode? who has that kind of will-power, patience anymore?

it's like consuming an entire box of cheez-its. or milk and oreos.

one episode of dexter turns into the entire first season. no one watches television on television anymore. it's not as instantly gratifying. we need things to be fast and sleazy. this is probably why we don't talk on the phone anymore. i mean, the telephone. that thing that plugs into your wall and doesn't have texting capabilities.

we express ourselves in blurbs. twitters.

america needs to take its riddlin.