blasphemy (the forbidden apple)

i'm sick of being subjected to advertisements,
user-friendly malware,
embedded codes
lost in numbers
against my will.

ladies and gentlemen:

steve jobs (our big big brother).

i'm sick of being told what i like
and what to buy
and why it's important for me to earn money
take an interest in politics
go to college
get married
breed

south-pawed journalism
the neo-fascist gop
government leaks and theatrical summits
face-flushed cover-ups
(the only evidence of their humanity)
this is progress this is change this is living, finally

i don't even know these people
how do i know that they are real?

i'm sick of shopping
actively pursuing the life of a consumer
spending money because i'm bored
and unimaginative
lighting out west
to a new territory
a vast utopia of commercials & billboards
which make it hard for anyone, in their right mind,
to suspend their disbelief/
manufactured personalities (i am no exception).

i'm sick of people
this world is crawling with them
little bugs i wanna squash or
spray like an exterminator
a noble act--like the great flood
justice, at last, is just a word, alas

i'm sick of soul-mates
friends
cigarettes
companies, corporations
spewing vulgarities in the form of
consumer-friendly marketing
business as usual
my lungs are populated by puss-filled sacs of blood
and ticking time-bombs
awaiting genocide
(so i'm told)

why can't i find my true true love?
like patsy cline?

how can i trust the dictionary?

who put these thoughts in my head
and how can i make them go away?

between heaven and hell
lies heaven and hell

repetition repetition repetition

one day, i will be somebody:
famous
important
successful
of consequence
married
divorced
with or without child
i will be an individual
a wretch like me
like you
like me
maybe we can talk about it over coffee?
how about that?

i am chock-full of contradictions
swelling-up inside of me
like water on the brain
like a brain in a jar of
formaldehyde
sprouting vaguely perverse
after-thoughts
staircase wit

one day, this affliction will
leave my body
bloody and broken
i will get up and leave

heaven awaits those who
believe
like i believe
like hanging on by a thread