intellectual lock-up--killing an arab

speech today: totally bombed it. read straight from my notecards--all 28 of them.
spent the remainder of class constructing my fantasy vs. subjective reality vs. objective reality narrative. i know...pretty lame. i'm not sure if dystopian describes it--though it certainly bears certain stylistic similarities to Orwell. i'd sayit's closer in spirit to Camus--with a generous dash of Lynch.
oh well.
anyway, i've been feeling overwhelmed lately: trying to cipher through the results of today's health care summit. it's so dense--like a brick wall of bullshit. it's hard to figure out when progress is truly being made--maybe that's how they keep the illusion alive. either way, i'm not so sure that i want this proposed bill to pass anymore--not with all the amenities Obama has had to make in trying to appease the GOP.
this is such a shit culture--we've truly fucked ourselves over--and continue to do so by propagating myths, perpetuating antiquated methods to solve problems which should no longer exist--not in this apparently civilized age. if only, everyone were as intelligent and understanding as they pretend to be--then we could really get some shit accomplished. if only, we were all on the same page.
oh well.
this is me exhibiting my political apathy--not that it's unjustified.
i tried, right?
it's all bullshit. i had a hunch from the very beginning. and now this suspicion has been confirmed.
i think i'm done for the night. i'll try to get a draft of my existential travesty up here in the next few days or so. maybe never.
hmm..


you're only in the way
you're always in the way
hey
hey hey
thick-skinned hucklefucks breaking down at the sight of wasted meat
the internet is the remedy
sleep is the answer
always is never
never is always
(what's it called when you flip something around to make it sound more profound? when you take your original statement and reverse it, posing it as a question? what's that called?)