voices in the fog

i've decided to get my life in order. that means a number of things:
first of all, becoming more aware of the world around me (i.e. getting out more, returning phone calls, devoting myself to friends, and dragging myself out of the depths of my own self-absorbed depression) i need to force myself to experience new things--or old things--but to do so and not begrudgingly. i need to talk to people--share ideas and open up more. it's killing me, being inside my head all the time. i need to communicate.
secondly, i need to read up on current events and form some sort of political opinion: i'm sick of feeling powerless in political conversations. i feel strongly about certain topics (abortion, gay marriage, merit pay for teacher, global warming, etc.), but i just don't feel informed, or nearly as informed as i should be, and, therefore, unqualified to jump right in and defend my beliefs--let alone, voice them. it's time i looked outside the world of art and literature and music and took an interest in the government, because i know--i just know--i'm getting fucked somehow. i need some more concrete information to solidify my distrust of the government--i need to learn how to dig deeper and unpack the bullshit spewed at me via most media outlets.
why do i feel the need to be interested in politics? honestly, i can't say. it just seems like something i should look into. whether or not it will actually benefit me in any great way, is yet to be determined. i'll give it some time and see how i feel--if my new found involvement has sparked any personal progress. if not, i guess i'll at least feel justified in returning to my stance as politically apathetic.
lastly, i really need to buckle down and focus on music and art. i have a lot of natural talent, i know this. but natural talent only gets you so far. there's still so much i have yet to learn--to master. i think it would help to be more observant, which i've made a conscious effort to do recently, but also, to become more aware of my own internal sense of aesthetics and beauty and all that hogwash. i need to form some sort of singular vision--which i feel i am perpetually on the verge of doing--it's always been on the tip of my tongue--it's just a matter of strengthening this vision--unifying my tastes under one marketable gimmick.
you know, at first i hated vampire weekend because i felt they exploited this time-tested formula--a bunch of ivy league hipsters capitalizing on their own status as ivy league hipsters, music be damned--but now i've warmed up to the idea. i mean, it's such a brilliant and sure-fire way to make it in this world. people like simplicity--two-dimensional products. we live in a consumer culture and there is a lot of competition, so the quicker and easier and faster you can deliver your product, your message, in the case of vw, your music, the better off you are in the long run. that's my feeling anyway. maybe it's not the most honest approach to art, but it's an art form in and of itself. it's artful mathematics, is what it is. and i'm all for it. god bless the easily distracted plebeians of my generation, perpetually latching on to the newest and flashiest of gilded fish-hooks in today's quick and easy culture. here today, gone today. never to be resurrected.
i get so overwhelmed sometimes. so many images. so many new and exciting things i'm told are happening. i feel like an old man sometimes, reminiscing about the good old days of sitcoms and news stories that had the potential to capture the general public's imagination for days, months, and even years. now, it's all about creating/feeling new sensations all the time. being entertained 24/7. it's starting to get to me. like voices in the fog. i'll navigate these waters alone, thank you.
anyway, this started out as an itinerary--a list of belated resolutions and turned into another one of my characteristic rants. it's nice to talk it out, though. i have to be honest. i guess now, i'll go fill up my brain with more noise and images. tata. adios.