Stray Observations

I heard a story this morning on NPR about John Darwin--the British former school teacher who faked his own death. He did it, apparently, for the insurance money. Only he and his wife knew that he was going to do this. So, while he was off in Panama, she stayed home and played the widow and collected his life insurance money. He said he needed the money because he was having trouble paying off his mortgage--or something to that affect.

I found the story somewhat inspiring. I guess there's a criminal element to it--I'm supposed to hate John Darwin for deceiving his sons (making them believe, falsely, that he was dead) and collecting money fraudulently--but I think he was somewhat justified in what he did and that, by extension, not all criminal cases are "criminal" in nature. People in extreme circumstances will do what they have to do to get by--to survive. There are so many motivations behind every act--it's not always senseless. Senseless violence. Senseless mischief. Senseless stealing. There's a reason people do what they do. And often, I think, it's because they can't meet the demands of modern living (socially or financially). I'm not saying we're all entitled to take what we want because we can't get it any other way--but I like what Darwin himself said in the interview this morning: sometimes a person just snaps.

I don't know.

I also heard an interview with a man who was addicted to climbing mountains. Legitimately addicted. He said the reason he decided to start climbing mountains was because in his hometown there was a mountain (still is a mountain, presumably) and he couldn't look at it--couldn't see it--without thinking it needed to be climbed. "I'd see this mountain and I thought: I should climb it."

I thought that was pretty funny. But then he started talking about the risks involved in mountain climbing--and that he made things especially difficult for himself by refusing to use oxygen (whatever they use when they climb mountains) other than what was naturally present. He also talked about frostbite and people losing toes and fingers and other parts of their bodies. I know it's nothing profound to say that climbing mountains is crazy but I think a lot of people like to think of it as "heroic" or "adventurous." And not just adventurous--but adventurous in the way that people equate adventure and thrill-seeking with heroism. I don't disagree with either of these: but I think there's an almost naive quality to people who climb mountains. Like: young boys who climb trees because they think it proves something. I guess I've just never considered how weird it is: to want to climb a mountain or, even weirder, as many mountains as possible. Like...that's a legitimate hobby. Some people play guitar. Some people shop. Some people like to run (actually: these are all starting to sound weird the more I think about them objectively). And some people like to climb really big rocks. It's weird to think about what people do to distract themselves--what people do to stay sane. Nothing seems meaningful or purposeful when you consider what they really are and what sort of satisfaction they yield. "I climbed a mountain. I lost my left leg. But I just had to do it." "I learned how to play Stairway to Heaven on guitar. Now I know how to play a song that a lot of other people know how to play. I also wrote a song about a feeling I had that I considered interesting. It's unlikely that anyone else will think it's interesting. But I wrote it. The feeling is still interesting to me. I've documented it now--via song. But I haven't gotten rid of the feeling. It's still there. But now I have a song about it." It's really weird. I'm not sure I understand the human mind at all.